The Battle of Dimwits
by molly22
Summary: FINISHED! Ron and Viktor Krum battle to see who knows Hermione better. It’s a battle of wits, and neither plans to lose. Unfortunately, someone has to. RonHermioneKrum triangle, a little HarryGinny
1. Origins of the Game

Author: molly22  
  
Title: The Battle of Dimwits  
  
Summary: Ron and Viktor Krum battle to see who knows Hermione better. It's a game of wits, and neither plans to lose. Unfortunately, someone has to.  
  
Pairings: Hermione/Krum...Hermione/Ron...Harry/Ginny  
  
Disclaimer: I don't Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, or anyone else in the HP fandom. For entertainment only.  
  
A/N: I was watching "That 70s Show" and the episode "Ice Shack" was on, in which Kelso claims he knows Jackie better than Eric knows Donna. A "The Newlywed Game"-esque competition occurs (which Kelso and Jackie win). Anyway, it gave me this idea of Ron and Krum fighting over who knows Hermione better. Please read and review.  
  
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Ron Weasley peered across the Gryffindor common room with slitted eyes. Sitting on a couch near the fireplace was a tall Bulgarian boy of seventeen or eighteen, with thick black eyebrows, a crooked nose, and a blank look. Next to him was a bushy-haired girl, talking rapidly in the direction of the Bulgarian. The two looked happy together, and Ron hated that more than anything.  
  
The girl, Hermione, suddenly turned to face Ron and called out, "What are you doing?"  
  
"Nothing," Ron muttered, turning slightly red, out of either anger or embarrassment–he wasn't sure which.  
  
"Then quit sulking and get over here. Viktor and I are having a lovely conversation about wizard's chess _which I'm sure you want to join_." Ever since Viktor Krum and a few other Durmstrang students had showed up at Hogwarts one day, hoping for refuge and claiming that their school's new headmaster seemed to be another Deatheater and that they didn't trust him, Hermione had been trying, in vain, to get Ron and Viktor to be friends. "After all," she'd told Ron, "it may take awhile for Dumbledore to look into their headmaster. Are you going to spend that whole time hating him?"  
  
Ron had replied, "Don't think I won't."  
  
Nevertheless, Hermione continued trying, much to the lanky red-head's annoyance. He simply couldn't force himself to like the famous Seeker.   
  
Hermione was nudging Viktor, and the Bulgarian finally said, in broken English, "Yes, come talk vith Herm-ee-o-ninny and me."  
  
Sighing, Ron walked over to the couple and sat down on a nearby chair. Hermione smiled happily and stopped glaring daggers at her friend. "So, how are you?" she asked Ron.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"That's good. Are you up to keeping Viktor company for a little while? I just have to go talk to Ginny for a moment. I promised to do this thing for her, and I just remembered. Silly me." It was clearly a false statement, an excuse to leave the two alone for a moment. With some luck and enough time, Hermione felt sure the two would become friends, or at least friendlier.   
  
Viktor looked as if he wanted to protest, partly, it was assumed, because he disliked Ron as much as Ron disliked him, and partly because he didn't want Hermione treating him like a baby. However, he kept silent.  
  
"Fine," Ron grumbled again. Under his breath he muttered, "Bloody hell."  
  
Standing up, Hermione beamed at her best friend and her boyfriend. She spotted Ginny–who was gesturing frantically as she seemingly explained something to Harry Potter–and then made her way over the younger girl.  
  
Viktor turned away from her to face Ron and said, awkwardly, "So."  
  
Ron sighed. "I'm not going to talk to you. Is that okay?"  
  
The older teen's response surprised Ron: "That vould be preferable."   
  
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"Boys!" Hermione fumed at Ron's little sister, Ginny. "Could they be any more ridiculous?" She turned to Harry. "No offense, but you are all bloody morons."  
  
Harry smiled and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to laugh. Hermione always got this way when she was irritated by Ron's behavior. He was quite used to it by now. He offered her a reassuring, "Yes, you're right."  
  
Ginny, scratching her head casually, said, "Not all boys are morons. I mean, most of them are, yes, but some aren't."  
  
Hermione smiled slyly at Ginny. "Anyone in particular you're thinking of?"  
  
Flushing, Ginny said, "No. It was a _very_ general statement."  
  
As the brunette girl opened her mouth to say something, a loud, "You stupid git!" was heard in the room, followed shortly by, "Vhat do you know?" Hermione, Harry, and Ginny whirled around to see Ron, bright red–this time, definitely because of rage–on his feet and staring furiously at Viktor Krum, who was also standing and glaring menacingly down at Ron.  
  
"Just stay away from Hermione!" Ron shouted.  
  
Viktor replied, eyes flashing, "I don't have to!"  
  
"Look, I know her better than you, and I know you are no good for her!"  
  
"You think you know her better?" Viktor was a purplish color, and his fists were tightly clenched. He clearly wasn't happy with this line of conversation. Nothing, in fact, could have angered him more at that time, than this red-haired boy questioning his relationship with Hermione.  
  
"I know I do!"  
  
Everyone in the common room was staring at the two boys, both of whom were making complete fools of themselves. Fred and George Weasley were trying not to laugh, while a group of Gryffindor girls were merely watching in open-mouthed horror. And Hermione could only gape, equally enraged and embarrassed.  
  
Finally, she snapped out of it, and she marched forward, grabbed Viktor by his wrist and Ron by the sleeve of his robes, and pulled them out of the common room, through the portrait of the fat lady, behind her. She barely had time to let go of them when Ginny and Harry emerged through the entrance.  
  
Hermione glanced at them quickly before she turned back to the two boys who were driving her absolutely mad. "Ron," she said, voice tight. "_How could you do this_?"   
  
"Do what?" he asked, playing dumb.  
  
Her eyes widened in surprise. Her hand flew up and slapped him as if it was a separate entity.   
  
Ginny gasped, "Oh, my!" while Ron reached up and touched his cheek tenderly.  
  
"Ron," Hermione said, appalled by her own behavior. "I'm so sorry." Looking at him, she placed her hand over his own–which was still lingering on his cheek–and repeated, "I'm sorry." Removing her hand, she smiled wanly at him.  
  
Smiling back–though it was a forced sort of smile–he claimed, "It doesn't hurt."  
  
"Good."  
  
Someone coughed loudly, and the group suddenly became aware that Viktor was also standing there, watching Hermione and Ron carefully. "Viktor..." his girlfriend began awkwardly.   
  
Silence.  
  
"I think we should go to the kitchen," Harry suggested, thoughtfully–and thankfully–interrupting the horrible quiet. "Visit Dobby."  
  
"That's a great idea," Ron agreed. "I'm in the mood for some fudge, anyway."  
  
Ginny frowned. "The kitchen? Are we, uh, _allowed_ in there?"  
  
"Not exactly," Ron said, "but no one will find out. We've been there loads of times."  
  
"Okay," she said hesitantly.  
  
Hermione led the way, Viktor right beside her, with Ron closely behind, and then Ginny and Harry following. The group wandered through the halls, almost aimlessly, it seemed, but finally they reached the painting of the bowl of fruit. Ron tickled the pear, and the painting swung aside.  
  
Instantly, they were greeted with a squeaking voice saying, "Oh! Harry Potter! 'T is Harry Potter! So kind of you to visit. So good. And Weezy. It is Harry Potter's Weezy. So generous."  
  
"Hullo Dobby," greeted Harry and Ron simultaneously.  
  
"Dobby," said Hermione kindly. "Meet Ginny Weasley–"  
  
"Another Weezy! Harry Potter has another Weezy?"  
  
Harry reddened. "Not exactly, Dobby."  
  
Hermione continued, "And meet Viktor Krum." Viktor frowned, but said nothing.  
  
"Hey, Dobby, do you think you could get us some fudge?" asked Ron hopefully.  
  
"Yessir!" screeched a nearby house elf.  
  
Hermione looked faintly cross, probably due to the fact that she felt no house elf should be forced–for, she felt that they were forced–to call anyone "sir." However, before she had the chance to say anything, she heard Ron snort and say something that sounded like "Damn Bulgarian."  
  
"Vhat about Bulgaria?" demanded Viktor, apparently also having heard it.  
  
"I didn't say anything about Bulgaria," Ron informed him. "Just about a certain Bulgarian who is with us."  
  
He narrowed his eyes. "This is not about me. This is about Herm-i-one-ninny."  
  
"It's _Hermione_, and yes, it is about her."  
  
"Ron," Hermione said warningly. "Viktor. _Don't_."  
  
Ron turned to her. "But he thinks he knows you better than I do. That's just not possible."  
  
"I do know her better," said Viktor loudly.  
  
"No, you don't!"  
  
"Yes, I do!"  
  
"No, you–"  
  
"Maybe there's another way to settle this," Ginny spoke up. "I mean, other than yelling at each other, and then Viktor beating Ron up into a bloody pulp."  
  
"I could take him," Ron said quietly, but Hermione ignored him saying, "Another way? Like this even needs to be settled. Just grow up, you two. Show some maturity."  
  
Running a hand through his dark, unruly hair, Harry advised, "You know, Ginny may be right. The chances of them showing any maturity are very small. And if they don't settle this, they'll hate one another forever. Correct?" Ron nodded half-heartedly, and Viktor shrugged.  
  
"But how?" Hermione said. "Arm-wrestling? What? A duel?"  
  
"No," Ginny said, a brilliant plan forming in her mind. "That doesn't show anything about how much they know about you. No, I have a better idea. Meet me in the common room at six tomorrow night."  
  
"Okay," Hermione, Ron, and Viktor said. Hermione added, "You're going to do this all by yourself?"  
  
"I'll help," offered Harry kindly.  
  
Ginny smiled at him brightly and said, "Right! Leave it up to me and Harry, and this whole bloody mess will be settled in no time."  
  
Ron looked weary, and called out, "Oi! Where's that fudge?"   
  
_End of chapter._  
  
A/N: Please read and review. 


	2. Let the Games Begin!

Chapter 2: Let the Games Begin!  
  
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After arriving back in the common room, Hermione, exhausted, had gone off to bed, and Ron and Viktor did the same (Viktor and one other Durmstrang student were staying with the Gryffindors; three others were with the Hufflepuffs; three more with the Ravenclaws; and a total of four with the Slytherins). As the three went their separate ways, a few students gawked at them openly, but still more whispered behind their backs.  
  
Though both were fairly tired themselves, Ginny and Harry stayed behind to plan the event. After all, if it was indeed going to be held at six the next evening, they had to get to work.  
  
"Okay, so how is this going to work?" Harry asked.   
  
Ginny grinned at him, proud of her own genius. She then told him exactly what she thought they ought to do. Harry agreed with the scheme, but suggested a few adjustments. Eventually, they had the entire plot of the game–for, it was going to be a game–laid out.   
  
"This is going to be brilliant!" Harry exclaimed.   
  
"If we get it done," reasoned Ginny, but he could tell she was excited.   
  
Harry beamed at the girl a year younger than himself, and Ginny turned red. Much as she tried to suppress these feelings, she couldn't help but still have a crush on Harry. He wasn't the greatest-looking boy around, that was true, but he was such a wonderful person. Nevertheless, any emotions she might have regarding him were just former traces of that little-girl crush she'd had not so long ago. That was what she told herself, anyway.  
  
"What?" Harry said, noticing the peculiar way Ginny was looking at him.  
  
Her eyes widened, and she said, "Oh, nothing. I was just...thinking about what imbeciles Ron and Viktor are being."  
  
"No kidding." Their eyes connected, and she was suddenly aware of how close he was to her.  
  
She looked down at her parchment nervously. "So, we'd better get to work on the questions, don't you think?"  
  
Harry shook his head, snapping out of the strange trance he had been in, and said, "Yes. We'd better."  
  
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Morning came, and Hermione found out, with much annoyance, that Harry and Ginny had only gotten four hours of sleep. Neither Ron nor Viktor were too worried about it–most likely because they were too busy glaring at one another.  
  
Breakfast consisted of Harry and Ginny laughing and whispering conspiratorially, and a red-faced Hermione trying not to shout at Viktor and Ron, who still had not stopped insulting each other. Lunch was much the same, except, at this point, Viktor and Ron were refusing to speak at all.   
  
Around five, Harry and Ginny told the other three to go to the library for awhile while they "set up." Hermione was naturally suspicious about what exactly was going on, but Viktor shrugged it off, while Ron complained, "The library? There's nothing to bloody do in the library."  
  
"Ron," Hermione scolded, as she led the two boys down the corridor. Looking back at Harry and Ginny, she called out, "Hurry up. _Please_."  
  
They waved at her in response.  
  
A total of one hour and thirteen minutes was endured in the library. Viktor had spent the whole time reading–or at least looking at the pictures–a book about Quidditch and signing autographs for a group of third-years. Ron stared into space, not really wanting to do anything, nor feeling there was anything to do. Hermione, however, delved into a copy of "Hogwarts: A History–The New, Updated Edition."  
  
Finally, Ginny appeared, breathless, at the library door, panting, "Come on! It's...it's ready!"  
  
The trio followed her with curiosity, as they approached the Gryffindor common room. Upon reaching the portrait of the fat lady, Ginny said, "Chocolate Bats," and the portrait swung open, with the fat lady saying, "Come in."  
  
The common room seemed the same as always, except, Hermione noticed, there were two large chairs floating just centimeters above the ground, in front of the fireplace. On the left of the chair to the left was a stool, above which floated a sign reading: RON–0 points. To the right of the chair on the right was another stool. Above this stool floated a sign that said KRUM–0 points. Floating over the other two chairs, was yet another chair. Above the entire spectacle was a banner that said, in large block letters, "THE BATTLE OF DIMWITS."  
  
"Clever title," Hermione muttered to Ginny, who grinned sheepishly, saying, "It seemed to fit."  
  
"'Battle of Dimwits?' Hey!" Ron cried, looking offended. "No one minds that you've done this?" he asked, gesturing at the display.  
  
Harry approached, and, overhearing his friend's question, said, "Oh, not at all. In fact, mostly everyone's excited to see the showdown."  
  
Viktor, after staring in awe at the display, said, "Everyone? People vill be vatiching?"  
  
"People will be watching!" Hermione yelled in surprise.   
  
Harry and Ginny nodded, the former saying, "It was the only way we could use the common room. They don't want to miss out on the fun."  
  
Viktor said, "Fun? This is not for fun. This is to prove once and for all that I know more about Herm-ee-o-nee."  
  
"You can't even say her name!" taunted Ron. "Do you really think you know more about her?"  
  
"It's about to be settled. Don't get into a fistfight over it _now_," suggested Ginny.  
  
Ron insisted, "I could take him."  
  
Viktor narrowed his eyes, but only said, "Herm-ee-o-nee, can ve talk?"  
  
Nodding, Hermione excused herself and followed Viktor over to where his stool was floating. He looked a slightly nervous and not a little angry, but, when he turned to face his girlfriend, he smiled. "What is it, Viktor?" she asked him worriedly.  
  
"I vas vondering that if I should lose this...test...vould you still like me?"  
  
She gawked at him. "_Of course_. How could you even ask me that? Viktor, this stupid test, it's not for my benefit. It's so that you and Ron can get this idiotic argument over with. Besides," she added, "I don't really expect you to win."  
  
"Vhat?!"  
  
"I just mean," she amended, "that it's more likely that Ron will win than you. After all, he _has_ known me longer, and I'm with him for longer periods of time."  
  
He looked upset. "I _vill_ vin!"  
  
"Viktor," she began, but he cut her off, saying, "If I do not vin, I do not stay vith you. Ve are done."  
  
Staring at him like he was mad, she said, "What? Done? Don't be ridiculous."  
  
"My pride vill not allow it."  
  
"Your pride?" she repeated. "_Your pride_?"  
  
He opened his mouth to respond, when Harry appeared at his stool, looking eager. "Sorry to interrupt, but it's time. People are showing up."  
  
Hermione turned to see her fellow Gryffindors appearing through the portrait hole and from the separate dormitories. They were all sitting on the ground or in chairs behind a red ribbon floating a few feet in front of the spectacle. "Oh dear," she muttered.  
  
Ron and Ginny joined Harry, Viktor, and Hermione around the fireplace. Harry and Ginny both pulled out their wands and pointed them at their throats, muttering, "Sonarus."  
  
"Welcome, fellow Gryffindors," Harry's voice boomed throughout the common room. "You're here today to witness The Battle of Dimwits."  
  
"Harry Potter and myself, Ginny Weasley, will be your hosts, as you watch two boys battle over who knows a girl better." Ginny sounded nervous, but she pulled through it quite well.  
  
The "hosts" pointed to the two chairs floating in front of the fireplace with their wands and shouted, "Accio chair!" Their designated chairs–Ginny to the left, Harry to the right–fell to the ground and scooted right in front of them. Ginny sat. Harry sat. Again, in unison, they pointed their wand at their chair, this time saying, "Wingardium Leviosa!" The chairs floated back to their original position.  
  
Ginny now said, "And now, Dimwit Number One, Ron Weasley, also known as 'The Best Friend'!" Ron protested loudly to being called the number one dimwit, but was drowned out by Fred and George's whoops, either to encourage or embarrass the boy.   
  
Humiliated, Ron pointed his wand at his stool and said, "Accio stool." The stool zipped over to him and he sat. "Wingardium Leviosa." It returned to its spot.  
  
"Dimwit Number Two," Harry said, "is none other than Bulgarian Seeker Viktor Krum, also known as 'The Boyfriend.'" Viktor, also looking quite cross as being referred to as a dimwit, repeated the seating ritual until he was floating in his place underneath his sign.  
  
"But wait," said Ginny happily, "I have a question. Who is the girl? Who are these two dimwits going completely mad for?"  
  
Harry smiled, trying to suppress a laugh. "Well, Ginny, the answer to that question is Hermione Granger. Hermione, please take your seat at the place of honor."  
  
Hermione, assuming correctly that the highest chair was hers, pointed her wand, said, "Accio chair," and, with amazing speed and direction, it came. She sat, and commanded, "Wingardium Leviosa." The whole time, the crowd–as well as the hosts and contestants–noticed, she was bright red.   
  
When she was settled in her place, Harry said, "Okay, now let's explain the rules."  
  
"Very well," said Ginny. "In Round One of the game, Hermione is asked a question, which she answers by writing on a piece of parchment. We take her quill, and her answer is kept to herself, for the time being. Then, the question is repeated for the boys to answer. They also write their answers on a scrap of parchment. When they are finished answering, their quills will be taken away. The boys show their answers, and then Hermione shows her answer. Five questions will be asked in this round. A correct answer is rewarded with ten points."  
  
Harry said, "Round Two is not a round at all, but more of a quick interview. In case you don't already know the three people this entire event is revolving around, you will get to know them better. No points are awarded this round."   
  
"Round Three," Ginny said, picking up the narrative, "is the same as Round One, except correct answers are worth twenty points. Again, five questions will be asked."  
  
"The fourth round is a lightning round," Harry explained. "A question will be asked–which Hermione is not forced to answer–and the contestants send up sparks with their wands if they know the answer. First to send up sparks gets the question. If he answer correctly, it is worth five points. Answer incorrectly, and the other contestant can steal the question. If he answers correctly, it is worth ten points. If neither answer correctly, the question is discarded."  
  
Ginny, already looking exhausted, said, "In the event of a tie, the contestants will be asked one final tie-breaking question. The first to shoot up sparks answers. If he answers incorrectly, the other contestant answers. If neither contestant knows the answer, another question will be presented. In the unlikely case that this question too is not answered, the contestants will be asked to wager an amount of their choosing of their own points and then answer a question. If they are correct, the amount of points they wagered will be added to their total score. If they lose, it will be subtracted."  
  
"Finally, we'd like to thank Neville Longbottom for acting as our judge." Harry smiled brightly at the audience. "Now, let the games begin!"

_End of chapter._

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A/N: Read and review. BTW, I did make up these rules myself, but I largely based them off of "The Newlywed Game" and "Jeopardy" and really anything else I could think of.


	3. Round One

REVIEW--In the last chapter, we learned that the rules of Round One are:   
  
**_"In Round One of the game, Hermione is asked a question, which she answers by writing on a piece of parchment. We take her quill, and her answer is kept to herself, for the time being. Then, the question is repeated for the boys to answer. They also write their answers on a scrap of parchment. When they are finished answering, their quills will be taken away. The boys show their answers, and then Hermione shows her answer. Five questions will be asked in this round. A correct answer is rewarded with ten points."_**  
  
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Chapter Three: Round One  
  
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Hermione, never one to be too melodramatic, felt that at that moment, the entire world _was_ out to get her. Why else would she be forced to humiliate herself like this? She glanced down from her chair at Ron, and then at Viktor, wondering why the whole debate couldn't have been settled with a duel. Of course, Ron probably would have been seriously hurt in a duel, considering how much older Viktor was.  
  
_Oh, well_, she thought glumly. _I'm here, embarrassing myself already. I might as well go full-out. At least it's only Gryffindors who are watching_.  
  
"Hermione," a voice from below her said, a voice much like Harry's, except, for the past ten minutes now, Harry had been talking quite ridiculously. She knew that he was trying to do a game show announcer-type voice, but it was still absurd.   
  
"Yes?" she responded, and it was barely heard by the crowd.  
  
Harry said, "Summon yourself some parchment and a quill." She did as he said. "Contestants, do the same." They did–although it took Ron two tries.  
  
Ginny took over, saying, "Okay, Hermione, here is the first question. In your fourth year, you had your two front teeth shrunken after being hit with a hex. Why did you worry that your parents would be upset? Write your answer on the parchment."  
  
Hermione scribbled her answer down and said, "Done."   
  
"Okay, drop your quill down to me," Harry urged her, and she did. "Now, Dimwits One and Two, please answer the same question: In Hermione's fourth year, she was hit with a hex. She had her teeth shrunken. Why did she think he parents would be upset about this?"  
  
Both contestants looked slightly vacant for a moment, but then an idea seemed to come to Ron. He wrote his answer down. Viktor, noticing his foe had found an answer, worriedly wrote something on a piece of parchment.  
  
"Done?" Ginny asked. They nodded and tossed their quills to the hosts. "Great. Now, Hermione, please reveal your answer."  
  
Hermione nervously turned her piece of parchment to the audience. It read, in neat, cursive writing, "Magic and teeth don't mix." She then read her answer aloud, realizing the judges could not see it.  
  
"Ron, would you please show your answer."   
  
With a very large and smug grin upon his face, he turned his parchment around. On it, in much less neat handwriting, were the words, "Her parents feel magic shouldn't be used on teeth." The audience burst out in applause, and George and Fred were heard chanting, "Dimwit Number One! Dimwit Number One!"   
  
"Good job, Ron," Harry congratulated, as he pointed his wand at the sign floating above Ron's head. It now said, "RON–10 points."  
  
Once the audience quieted, Ginny said, "Viktor, please show us your answer."  
  
Viktor, looking sullen, showed his piece of parchment. His answer was, "Her parents don't like magic."  
  
The audience jeered, although a small group of girls called, "We love you!" to Viktor.  
  
"Oh, tough break, Viktor," consoled Ginny. "Now, on to the next question." She sent a quill up to Hermione.  
  
Harry said, "Hermione's favorite color is...what?" Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment and then wrote her answer down. She tossed the quill back to Ginny. "Contestants, your quills." Harry and Ginny tossed them to the boys. "Again, the question is: Hermione's favorite color is...what is it?"  
  
Viktor wrote his answer down first this time and quickly gave the quill back. Ron, however, was looking panicked, wondering why, in his many years of knowing Hermione, he had never bothered to find out her favorite color. He wrote an answer down quickly, although it was obvious to everyone he was unsure about it, if the way he was muttering, "Bloody hell," was any indication. He returned his quill.  
  
"Show us and read us your answer, Hermione," Ginny called, looking up slightly.  
  
Hermione said, with a clear voice, as she turned the parchment around, "Red."   
  
A look of annoyance flickered over Ron's face and triumph over Viktor's. And indeed, when Ron showed his answer, it contained the incorrect response of "Pink," while Viktor's said, "It is red." Harry directed his wand at Viktor's sign, so that it read, "KRUM–10 points."  
  
"And the score is all tied up!" exclaimed Ginny, giving Hermione her quill. "Next question."  
  
Harry said, "At the beginning of third year, of all the classes available to her, how many was she taking?" Hermione wrote the answer to this faster than she wrote any of the other answers, and she dropped her quill down. After distributing quills to the contestants, Harry repeated, "At the beginning of her third year, how many classes was Hermione taking?" The contestants wrote their answers down, and then handed their quills back.   
  
Ginny, looking drained, said, "Hermione, your answer, please."  
  
With a nervous glance out at the audience, Hermione turned the parchment over. Upon it was the single word "ALL." Remembering she was also supposed to read her answer, she said, "All. All the classes available to me."  
  
"Ron, would you please reveal your answer to us."   
  
Ron turned over his parchment. The audience cheered. It read, "All of them. (She's loony.)"  
  
"Viktor, its your turn," Ginny announced.  
  
Although he had looked a little nervous while scrawling his answer on the parchment, he now looked calm. When he turned it around, it said, "All classes." The audience applauded loudly, and it was clear they were getting into the game.   
  
Both contestants were awarded ten points.  
  
"It is still a tie game," said Harry, "with two questions left in the round."  
  
"Here's your quill, Hermione," Ginny said, as she gave the girl back her writing utensil. "And your question, a sort of continuation of the previous one: In the middle of the third year, you, Hermione, quit what class, and why?"  
  
Grinning an almost wicked grin, Hermione penned her answer, which seemed longer than the others. Finally, upon finishing, she dropped her quill down, which Harry caught, and muttered, "This _will_ be fun."  
  
Harry told the contestants, while giving them quills, that "it was their turn. The question is: In the middle of third year, Hermione quit what class? Why did she quit it?"  
  
Both Ron and Viktor seemed to know the answer to this one, as they were both scribbling furiously on the parchment. Finally, at almost the exact same time, they looked up and tossed their quills to the hosts.  
  
"Great," said Ginny, smiling winningly. "Hermione, what is your answer?"  
  
Hermione held her parchment out proudly, and said, in a loud voice, "I quit divination because Professor Trelawney is an F-R-A-U-D fraud!" Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil booed and hissed loudly, since both were loyal fans of the Divination professor.  
  
"Well, I don't know how happy Professor Trelawney would be to hear that," said Harry laughing, "but we'll soon find out how our contestants feel about Hermione's answer. Ron?"  
  
Ron showed his answer, which said, "She quit divination. Trelawney didn't have 'the sight.'"  
  
"Well done, Ron," said Ginny, as she changed his score from 20 to 30. "Viktor, please share your answer with us."  
  
The Bulgarian's answer said, "Divination. She didn't like the teacher."  
  
"That's wrong!" shouted Ron.  
  
"It is the same thing," protested Viktor. "She does not like the teacher because she is phony."  
  
"That's not what your answer says!" was Ron's rebuttal.  
  
Harry yelled, "Be quiet!" and then said, "We'll ask our judge. Neville?"  
  
Neville's voice burst forth from the front of the crowd.His words, however, were lost in the noise. He seemed to be repeating himself sveral times. Finally, a, "It's not the same," was heard from him, and ten points were added only to Ron's side.  
  
"Vhy, you little–" Viktor yelled at Neville, before Hermione interrupted with, "Viktor! Don't."  
  
"Okay," said Ginny. "Well, that certainly was exciting. However, it is now time for the final question." Hermione received her quill, as Ginny said, "Hermione's least favorite class–aside, I guess, from divination–is...?" Hermione looked quite stumped for an instant, and then wrote down her answer. She handed back her quill.  
  
Harry said, "Boys, the question is: Hermione's least favorite class is...what?" He gave them their quills.  
  
The boys answered as they had before, with a second or two of thinking, and a few more seconds of writing. Both seemed this time to be pretty sure of themselves as they handed back their quills.  
  
Ginny said, "Hermione, what is your least favorite class?"  
  
"Potions," Hermione replied, as she turned over the parchment which, indeed, had the word, "Potions," scrawled across.   
  
"Well, who can blame you?" laughed Harry. "Contestants, did you say potions? Ron?"  
  
Ron proudly showed his answer which was a little longer than Hermione's–"Potions, with the dreaded Slytherins and Snape-the-terrible." Almost all of the Gryffindors laughed, as ten points were added to Ron's score.  
  
"Now, Viktor, did you say Potions?"  
  
Viktor replied, "Yes, I did," as he showed his parchment which clearly stated, "Potions."   
  
"Well, Ginny," said Harry. "This was a very exciting round."  
  
"Yes, it was, Harry," agreed the red-headed girl. "And, at the end of the first round, Ron Weasley leads, 40 to 30."  
  
"However," countered The Boy Who Lived, "third round is double points, and anyone can take the lead."  
  
"Before that, however, we have interviews."  
  
Harry tried to respond to this, but even his extra-loud voice couldn't drown out Fred and George Weasley's chant of, "The Number One Dimwit is Dimwit Number One! The Number One Dimwit is Dimwit Number One!"  
  
---------------------------------  
  
A/N: So, how did you like this chapter? Please review. Next time, its round two: interviews. 


	4. Round Two: Interviews

Chapter Four: Round Two–Interviews  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Harry and Ginny were whispering to each other, waiting for the crowd to settle down so that they could begin interviews. Finally, the rambunctious Gryffindors quieted enough for the hosts to be heard, and Ginny said, "We are now going on to Round Two, during which no points will be awarded. It's an interview session."  
  
"However," interrupted Harry, "before that, we would first like to say that we just realized that, when describing the rules of the game to you, the audience, we said that we would ask the contestants what their answers were before we asked Hermione. In the actual playing of Round One, we did not do that."  
  
"And, boy, are our faces red," added Ginny.  
  
"Nevertheless," continued Harry, "we will not be redoing the first round, as this slight–and accidental–alteration in the plans did not give anyone a particular advantage. It was still fair."  
  
"Round Three will be held in the same way as Round One. It will just be easier that way."  
  
Harry and Ginny looked at each other and pulled out their wands, pointing them simultaneously at Hermione's chair, and yelling, "Accio chair," much to Hermione's surprise. Her chair–with her in it–was pulled down on the ground in front of the hosts, still facing the audience.   
  
"Hermione," Harry's voice greeted his best friend. "How are feeling?"  
  
Hermione muttered something unintelligible, prompting Ginny to ask, "What was that?"  
  
"I said that I am horrified that these two morons have forced you two and myself to go to these measures, just so that they'll get along," said Hermione snappily.  
  
"Okay," said Ginny, a little awkwardly. "So, why don't you tell us how you know Dimwit Number One, Ron Weasley?"  
  
Hermione shrugged, saying, "Well, Ron's one of my best friends. Him and Harry."  
  
"How did you meet?"  
  
"Well, in our first year here at Hogwarts, Ron was unnecessarily rude to me. However, during that year we were...uh...attacked by a troll, and, er, we all end up friends."  
  
Ginny smiled and Harry laughed. "That's an interesting story. So, who is Viktor Krum to you?"  
  
Hermione forced a smile, still thinking about his so-called "pride," and said, "My boyfriend."  
  
"Oh, your boyfriend," giggled Ginny. "How did you meet?"  
  
"Well," said Hermione. "He was here in my fourth year, for the, er, Triwizard Tournament. All of you know that already, though. Anyway, he kept annoying me because he was always in the library, along with a group of giggling girls that followed him everywhere. I could never get any research done–they were so distracting! But, as it turned out, he was there because he'd seen me before and wanted to talk to me. It just happened to take him ages before he worked up the nerve to talk to me."  
  
Several girls in the audience were distinctly heard sighing, "Awww."  
  
"What was your first date like?"  
  
"We went to the Yule Ball together. It was very nice, for the most part."  
  
Ginny said, "Okay, one last question: When did this feud between Ron and Viktor begin?"  
  
"It's hard to say, really. I think it probably began when Ron asked me to the dance because he couldn't get a date–"  
  
"Hey!" Ron yelled. "I could so–"  
  
"–and I told him no because I already had a date. When I showed up with Viktor, Ron got very angry, said I was betraying Harry, or something of the like. He was just being rude to be rude, in _my_ opinion."  
  
"Thank you, Hermione," dismissed Ginny, who sent her friend back up to her original spot. "Now, Ron. Accio stool." Ron and his stool took the spot which Hermione and her chair had just vacated.  
  
Harry said, "Ron, how are you feeling? Think you're going to win this?"  
  
"Of course I am. I've known Hermione longer, and I certainly know her better."  
  
"Who is Hermione, to you?"  
  
Ron rolled his eyes. "She's my best friend. Other than you, Harry, o' course."  
  
"Best friend? Alright. So, why are you participating in this competition?"  
  
"Because Viktor Krum is a bloody annoying git, and he thinks he knows more about Hermione than I do. I want to prove him wrong."  
  
"Okay, what else about Viktor Krum bothers you? I see your feelings about him aren't exactly positive."  
  
Ron shrugged evasively and said, "I used to idolize him. That's the word Hermione used. He was my hero, for being so young and so famous, and such a great Seeker." He looked thoughtful. "Sounds like I was '_idolizing_' Harry, doesn't it? Anyway, I thought he was great. But your heroes aren't supposed to date your best friend. Besides, Krum could have been using Hermione, for all we knew, to figure out Harry's secrets and strategies in the tournament. I just don't like him."  
  
"Okay, tell us just a little bit about yourself–your family, your pets, whatever you want. Just a fact or something of the sort, so we can feel we know something about you. After all, we know Viktor Krum is a Seeker, and we're learning a lot about Hermione thanks to this contest--probably more than she wants us to know. What about you?"  
  
Ron tapped his chin with his forefinger for an instant and then said, "Well, I have an owl called Pigwidgeon. That's what Ginny, my sister, the loony one, named him, and he wouldn't respond to anything else, so I just call him Pig. He's the worst owl anyone could wish for. He's tiny, and he's insane, and he never does what you tell him. Is that good?"  
  
"Yes. That's a lovely story. But I like the name Pigwidgeon," responded Ginny, glowering at her brother. Harry was trying not to laugh too hard at the absurdity of it all. "Well, thank you." Ginny sent him back to his spot, with a little bit of unnecessary turbulence.  
  
Harry said, "Viktor Krum, it's your turn. Accio stool." The chair upon which Viktor sat flew down to the spot that Ron had just been. "Hello."  
  
Moodily, Viktor said, "This is ludicrous. Vhy are ve doing this? Vhy are ve being interviewed?"  
  
Harry, a little taken aback, replied, "Well, er, we are doing this because...Ginny? Why _are_ we doing this?"  
  
Ginny whispered, "So that you can establish among yourselves why you are competing in this tournament."  
  
"So," Harry said to Viktor. "So you can establish among yourselves, er..."  
  
"Why you are competing in this tournament," prompted Ginny.  
  
"So you can establish among yourselves why you're competing in this tournament."  
  
Viktor arched his thick, black eyebrow at them, and then said, "Fine. Vhat do you vant to ask me?"  
  
"Okay," said Harry warily. "Well, we already know that Hermione is your girlfriend. So, maybe just tell us what she means to you."  
  
"That is her business and mine. Not for these people know."  
  
Harry frowned and said, "Okay," dragging the word out. "Then, maybe you can tell us how you feel about Ron."  
  
"He is sticking his nose into my business. He is Herm-ee-o-ninny's friend, so maybe he is just...uh...protective of her. But he is saying he knows her better, vhich I do not like. He is vounding my...pride, saying I do not know my girlfriend. Yes? Is that vhat you vant?"  
  
Harry nodded. "Is that why you're doing this competition?"   
  
Viktor nodded, adding, "He must see that I am right."  
  
"Okay," said Harry. "I only have one more question." Viktor gave him a sharp look, clearly not wanting to be asked any more questions like this. He just wanted to get back to the competition. "Or not. Thank you." Harry sent him back to his original spot.  
  
As she beamed at the audience, Ginny exclaimed, "That concludes the interviews. Round Three is next....And, you know what, no matter what Ron says, Pigwidgeon is a _lovely_ name!"   
  
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A/N: Okay, some people wondered why I wanted to include interviews. The reason why is that I just sort of dreamed up the part where Harry was trying to answer Krum and Ginny had to feed him the lines. I enjoyed it, so I stuck in a interview round. Whatever. Don't question me, for I am **THE AUTHOR**! Just kidding. Well, I mean, I actually am the author, but...oh you know what I mean.  
  
Anyway, I appreciate all the wonderful reviews. Please keep it up! 


	5. Round Three

Chapter Five: Round Three  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
Although he'd seen many things in his life, Harry Potter had to admit that this was perhaps the strangest. A crowd gathering to watch two idiotic teenagers fight over a girl. It was ridiculous. (Little, of course, did he know, that far more ridiculous things were being shown on television all the time, calling themselves, "Reality TV.") However, despite how ridiculous it was, it was also quite enjoyable for him to play the host. Even though he knew he wasn't very good at it.  
  
"Yes, Round Three," he said, "will be played now. It will be played the same way as Round One."  
  
Ginny announced, "Hermione, here's your quill and some more parchment. Wingardium leviosa." Hermione snatched the items from out of the air. "Here is the question: You have a pet. What type of animal is it?" Hermione wrote the answer down and dropped the quill. It bounced off of Harry's head and into his lap.  
  
"Here are your quills, contestants. And here is some parchment," Harry said as he distributed the items. "Now, here is the question again: What type of animal is Hermione's pet?"  
  
The boys didn't looked fazed by this question. It was simple, after all. Especially considering the pet in question could be spotted in the crowd, curling around people's legs and purring. Once each contestant had written their answer on the parchment, they returned the quills.  
  
Harry said, "Hermione, your answer was...?"  
  
As she revealed her answer, Hermione stated, "A cat."  
  
"Viktor, now you."  
  
Viktor looked a little surprised that the order had been changed. However, he turned the parchment around so that it could be seen to read, "Cat." Twenty points were added to his score, so that is read: KRUM–50 points.  
  
Ginny said, directing the statement toward her brother, "Ron. What answer did you come up with? What type of pet does Hermione have?"   
  
If the smug look of Ron's face was any indication, he had gotten the correct answer. Indeed, when he showed the crowd his answer, the audience laughed. It said, "A hideous, horrifying creature. (A CAT)." Ron's score was boosted to 60 points.  
  
"Both contestants, well done," Ginny congratulated as she sent Hermione's quill up again. "Now, next question: What is Hermione's favorite type of wizard candy?"  
  
Hermione, never much of a candy-eater, took a little longer to answer this question. Finally, she wrote down what she felt was a satisfactory answer. She wasn't sure if it rang true, but she remembered once discussing it with Viktor. She handed back her quill.  
  
"Now, Dimwits One and Two," Harry said, passing out the quills. "What is Hermione's favorite type of wizard candy?"  
  
Both contestants looked thoughtful for a moment. Suddenly, Viktor seemed to realize something, and he wrote his answer down. Ron, however, was still stumped. He resorted to writing down the only wizard candy he could think of at the moment–he was a little panicked.  
  
"Your quills," reminded Harry, and they handed them back. "Now, Hermione what was your answer?"  
  
Hermione showed her answer to the audience. "Chocolate Frogs," she said.  
  
"I love Chocolate Frogs," said Ginny. "The question is, however, do the contestants know that _you_ love chocolate frogs? Viktor."  
  
With a happy look on his face, Viktor showed his answer–"Chocolate Frog." His score was now 70 points.  
  
"Ron."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ron replied, as he revealed that his answer was incorrect. His piece of parchment had the words, "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans," scrawled across it.   
  
Harry said, "Sorry, Ron." He genuinely looked sorry. "However, there are still three more questions in the round. Hermione," he continued, making sure Hermione got her quill. "The question is: What school did you attend, before you came to Hogwarts?"  
  
Hermione wrote down her answer, a word–technically, a title–that she hadn't written in years. However, before she had the chance to reminisce, Ginny asked, "Done?" and she was forced to return the quill and pay attention.  
  
The boys wrote their responses to the question, but neither looked too sure about their answer as they tossed the quills towards the hosts.   
  
"Okay, Hermione, I'm sure everyone is itching to know–what school _did_ you attend before Hogwarts?" Ginny said.  
  
"Well, Ginny," said Hermione, mimicking the announcer voice, "I went to–" She flipped the parchment. "–Hawthorne Primary. It was a muggle school, of course."  
  
Viktor, after being asked to show his answer, had apparently known this little fact; for, upon his parchment was the word "Hathorne." Unfortunately, Ron called into question the incorrect spelling, and Hermione was forced to confirm that it was not spelled the right way.   
  
"Neville?" shouted Ginny. "Does the spelling matter?"  
  
Neville called, "No! It's okay." Viktor's score was now 90.  
  
The hosts forced Ron to reveal his answer, which simply said, "No bloody idea." His score remained at 60 points.  
  
"Next question," said Ginny. Hermione, quill in hand, listened as Ginny said, "Why, in her second year, did Hermione miss her classes, over a relatively long period of time?"  
  
Hermione was confused, at first, by the wording of the question. However, she soon realized what Ginny was talking about and scribbled down her answer. The quill was, once again, returned.  
  
Viktor looked worried as he attempted to answer this question. He seemed to have absolutely no idea. He doubted his answer was correct.  
  
On the other hand, Ron was positive that he had responded accurately. He had been there, worried, and he would never forget that time. It was too hard to forget how hard life was without Hermione there, being her know-it-all self, and smiling at him, and insulting Malfoy, and just being his best friend.  
  
After their quills were collected, Ginny said, "Hermione, what was your answer?"  
  
"I was petrified," Hermione responded as she showed her answer to the audience. "Back in Year Two, when the basilisk was loose. Me, and loads of others."  
  
Ginny turned a sort of violet red color at the mention of the basilisk, and it took her a minute–and Harry's comforting words–for her to compose herself enough to say, "Viktor?"  
  
Viktor's answer–"Away visiting relatives"–was received with a few boos from the audience, and an even larger group of people yelling, "Dimwit Number One!"  
  
Ron proudly presented the word "Petrified," and was congratulated with loud cheers. The 60 on his sign changed in a flash to 80. He was now trailing by only ten points.  
  
"The last question of this round, worth twenty points, is: What is the profession of Hermione's father?"  
  
Hermione, obviously not hesitating a moment, wrote her answer and dropped the quill. Neither of the boys seemed nervous regarding their answers, which were scribbled seconds after Hermione's.  
  
"Well, we are about to find out who is in the lead," said Harry. "Hermione, what does your father do for a living? Is he a mailman? A doctor? Please enlighten us."  
  
After taking a deep breath and then releasing it, Hermione said, "My father is...a dentist. Hence the whole 'teeth and magic don't mix' rule."  
  
"A dentist. Wonderful," said Ginny. "Did you have 'Dentist', Viktor?"  
  
Triumphantly, Viktor turned his parchment for the audience to read. It said, in blocky, very masculine lettering, "Dentist."   
  
Ron threw Viktor a hostile glance, and then said, "I had 'dentist,' as well. See?" He revealed his answer. It said, "He is a dentist."  
  
"And," said Ginny, "at the end of Round Three, Viktor is leading by ten. Up next, the Lightning Round!"  
  
Narrowing his eyes at Viktor, Ron felt the Bulgarian didn't look too bright. _With any luck_, he thought, _the git won't be able to think on his feet_.  
  
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A/N: For those who commented on how fast I can update (specifically Auddie) the reason is this–I have no life. There's nothing on televison. And there's only so many times you can reread the Harry Potter books 1-4(I still haven't worked up the nerve to reread OoTP again; I cried way too much the first time).   
  
BTW–someone asked for more Ginny/Harry, but that's not really the point of the story. It is slight Ginny/Harry because I do believe they are meant to be together. Specifically, though, this story is a Ron/Hermione/Krum love-triangle fic. I won't say who wins the competition–OR--_sigh_--Hermione's heart. You'll just have to read this. 


	6. Round Four: The Lightning Round

Chapter Six: Round Four (The Lightning Round)  
  
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Ron was going to win. He had never felt surer of anything in his life. True, he was losing by ten points at the moment, but he still knew more about Hermione. Maybe he didn't know about her favorite candy or color, but he knew the important things–how dedicated she was to her schoolwork, how little she liked Malfoy, how strongly she felt about house-elves' liberation. He knew her temper and her personality–how else would he be able to irritate her as easily as he did?  
  
His was shaken from these musings by Harry's exceptionally loud voice announcing, "It's time for Round Four! Contestants, please hold your wands at the ready." Viktor and Ron each reached into their robes and pulled out their wands, pointing them at the ceiling.   
  
"Ron," said Ginny, "you shoot up red sparks, if you know the answer. Try it now." Ron shook his wand and red sparks shot up into the air. "Good. Viktor, you shoot up blue sparks, if you know the answer." Shaking his wand in the appropriate manner, Viktor watched as sapphire sparks emerged from the tip, into the air, and showering the ground. "Lovely."  
  
"This round lasts thirty seconds. Each correct answer is worth five points, unless it is stolen from the other contestant, in which case it is ten points. The current scores are: Ron–80 points, Viktor–90 points. However, this round could change everything," informed Harry, looking a little anxious on Ron's behalf. "Fred and George, please start counting when I begin reading this question: We've already established that Hermione has a cat. What is its name?"  
  
Red and blue sparks flew up in the air. "Which was first? Neville?" Ginny demanded.  
  
"R-Red!" answered Neville's voice from the crowd. "Red!"  
  
Ron, realizing "Red," meant him, shouted, "Crookshanks! The cat is Crookshanks!" Harry nodded in response and changed Ron's score to 85. He was now only trailing by five points.  
  
"Next question: What product did Hermione use on her hair for the Yule Ball?"  
  
Viktor shot up azure sparks, shouting, "The Sleekeazy's Hair Potion! Yes?'  
  
"Yes," answered Harry, boosting Viktor's score to 95 points. "Next question: What organization did Hermione start to help house elves?"  
  
Ron knew this one. He knew it probably better than he knew his own name. As he shot up his sparks, however, he saw, with horror, that Viktor had beaten him to it.  
  
"Viktor?"  
  
"It is the...the...the...er..." Viktor trailed off.   
  
"I'm sorry, Viktor," said Ginny. "Ron, the question goes to you, with ten seconds left, and an opportunity to tie!"  
  
Ron, not waiting for Ginny to say anything else, shouted, "Spew! She started spew because she thought house elves were people, too, and they were being treated unfairly. She's always going on about house elf 'slave labor,' and–"  
  
"Ron!" interrupted Ginny. "That's enough. Your score is now–"  
  
"Actually," shouted a voice that Ron recognized as Neville's, "it's S. P. E. W." Neville would know, having been frightened into joining by Hermione. "Spew is not the same as S. P. E. W."  
  
Harry looked doubtful as George and Fred called, "Time's up!"   
  
"He _is_ the judge," said Ginny to Harry quietly.   
  
"But Ron clearly knew that one," responded Harry as he pinched the bridge of his nose.  
  
Ginny countered, "But we're not supposed to let our personal attachment to Ron get in the way of a fair competition."  
  
"I know," Harry said, feeling very guilty. However, he called to the audience, unable to look in Ron's direction, "The judge has decided that 'spew' is not the same as 'S. P. E. W.' and therefore, the winner of the Battle of Dimwits is Dimwit Number Two, Viktor Krum, with 95 points." Few people cheered. The crowd seemed very upset at this decision, and they all seemed to swarm around Neville, yelling insults.  
  
A little depressed, Harry brought his and Ginny's chairs to the ground, followed shortly by Hermione's, and then the contestants' stools. Harry approached Ron, as his stool hit the ground, but Ron refused to look at him or speak to him.  
  
Hermione, noticing Ron's behavior, advanced toward him slowly, and said, "Ron. It's alright that you didn't win, you know." Ron didn't respond. "It was very close, anyway. I'm impressed you knew as much about me as you did."  
  
Ron looked up and growled, "Why don't you go off and congratulate Vicky?"  
  
"Ron," Hermione warned. "Don't blame Viktor. And _please_ don't do something stupid. I am begging you."  
  
"Don't worry," said Ron, clearly upset. "I can take losing like a man."  
  
Warily, Hermione said, "Okay."  
  
At that moment, Viktor appeared at Hermione's shoulder and said, "I von, Herm-own-ninny. Ve can be together."  
  
Just as Hermione was about to mention to him that "now is not the time," Ron launched himself on Viktor, swinging his fists at anything and everything he could hit. Surprised, Viktor did not fight back. That is, until he became aware of the fact that, not only was he being attacked by a gangly red-head, but also that many people were watching him, Viktor Krum, _lose_. That seemed to settle it for him, and he began pummeling Ron.  
  
As this happened, Harry and Ginny stared, along with the entire audience, which had been, seconds before, preoccupied with yelling at Neville. Hermione, however, was completely white, with saucers for eyes, and her mouth hung open a bit as if she were about to scream.   
  
Viktor and Ron continued rolling around the floor, kicking and hitting one another, also managing to knock over chairs. It was hard to tell who was winning, exactly, or if anyone was winning. But both were definitely in pain.   
  
Finally, George Weasley rushed over to break up the fight, while his twin began shaking Hermione's shoulder, concerned. "Are you alright?" Fred wanted to know.  
  
"Fine," Hermione replied, not taking her eyes off of Viktor and Ron, who were at that moment being held apart by George.   
  
"Okay," said Fred, not really convinced, and he went over to Harry and Ginny, to make sure they were also okay.  
  
Hermione hurried to Ron and Viktor. "What are you two doing? Have you gone completely mad?" she screeched at them, not sure if she was more angry than concerned, or the other way around. With surprise, she caught sight of a bruise beginning to form around Ron's left eye. "Ron, are you okay?" Ron nodded, still glaring at Viktor. Hermione wasn't satisfied, though, and she grabbed Ron by the robes, forcing him to look at her. "Ronald Weasley, do not nod at me. I am taking you to Madame Pomfrey." She glanced at Viktor. "Are you okay?" The Bulgarian nodded and, after looking him up and down, Hermione was satisfied.   
  
"I don't need to go to the hospital wing," insisted Ron. "I'm fine."  
  
"Well, Ron, you're going to the hospital wing anyway. Viktor is larger than you and stronger than you, and there's no telling what sort of damage or injury he could have caused."  
  
Ron wanted to protest this, but before he had the chance, Hermione had pulled him through the portrait of the fat lady and down the stairs, in the direction of the hospital wing.   
  
"Ron," she was saying. "I'm not sure what your problem with Viktor is, but I never expected you to try and fight him. I thought you were a little smarter than that. Oh, I guess I should be grateful you didn't duel or something of the sort. Viktor could have hurt you far worse that he did now, if that was the case. But my point is that we did this whole ridiculous, idiotic, moronic competition to prevent this sort of thing from happening. I agreed to it so that neither of you would get hurt. I guess I was attempting to prevent the inevitable takeover of testosterone. _Ugh_! Boys!" She continued on like this all the way to the hospital wing. Ron never gathered the courage to tell her to shut up.  
  
Madame Pomfrey greeted them with a, "What's wrong with him?"  
  
"I'm fine," said Ron. "Really, I am."  
  
Madame Pomfrey approached and looked him over. "A fight?" she asked. Neither Hermione nor Ron responded. "Well, you'll be fine." She sifted through her bottles of potions. "Here," she said, handing it to Hermione. "Have him take this once a day for the next three days."  
  
"What does it do?"  
  
"It will help reduce the appearance of bruises, and it should help to reduce the pain."  
  
Hermione tucked the bottle into her robes, and said, as she led Ron away, "Thank you."   
  
"I told you I was alright," Ron said, with a sour look.   
  
"Oh, for Pete's sake. I was just trying to make sure you weren't hurt. You don't have to get defensive on me. I already know you're a big, strong, man, etc. etc., and you can take care of yourself," she said.  
  
"Well," said Ron. "I'm glad you understand." Hermione rolled her eyes, and they continued on in silence.  
  
Just outside the portrait of the fat lady, just before Ron was about to say the password, Hermione said, "Wait. Before we go in, can we talk for a second?"  
  
"Fine," Ron sighed.  
  
"Look, I just want you to promise me that from now on you will be civil with Viktor." Ron looked skeptical. "You don't have to be best mates. The thing is, I don't want either of you to get hurt. Again."  
  
"Hermione, I'd like to promise that," said Ron. "But I simply can't guarantee anything."  
  
Frustrated, Hermione yelled, "Why not?" In her normal voice, she said, "What is your problem with him? What has he done to offend you so much?"  
  
Ron, struggling for an answer, said, "Well, it's just that he...and he...is always so..." He trailed off, not really sure why he did hate Viktor so much. "I just..." Ron looked Hermione in the eye and answered in the only way he knew how, an idea that seemed ludicrous, but was the only one he could come up with–he kissed her.  
  
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A/N: Oooooh....cliffhanger. So, what do you think??? Again, thank you for all of the great reviews that have helped this to become my most-reviewed story. Keep it up! 


	7. The Aftermath

Chapter Seven: The Aftermath  
  
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Kissing Ron wasn't like kissing Viktor. When Hermione kissed Viktor, it was always awkward, always a hesitant pressing of her lips against his. She didn't really know Viktor that well, they hadn't been dating all that long, and she was always uncomfortable when they kissed. But with Ron, the only hesitation she'd had was fleeting. This was Ron. She'd known him for–what felt like, anyway–forever. She didn't have to be awkward with him. He was her best friend.  
  
Of course, that was the problem. Ron _was_ her best friend. That was all. She was dating Viktor. She was supposed to be caring about Viktor. She was supposed to be kissing Viktor–even it was awkward.  
  
But here she was, kissing Ron.  
  
"Ahem," a deep feminine voice said, and Hermione pulled away from Ron. It was the fat lady who had spoken. Once aware that she had caught Hermione's attention, she pointed a plump finger over the bushy-haired girl's shoulder.  
  
Hermione turned. Standing there, staring at his girlfriend and his girlfriend's best friend was Viktor Krum, his thick eyebrows raised and his mouth open in surprise. "Viktor..." Hermione said.  
  
"Oh, no," muttered Ron, who had also turned around.  
  
"So, this is how it is." Viktor frowned deeply. "You vant to be vith this...boy. Even though I haff von the contest."  
  
Hermione's hand fluttered up to her cheek, and she said, "No." Ron looked up at her, surprised. "I mean, I...don't know. Viktor, don't," she said, as Viktor turned away sadly. "I really do care about you. And I don't want us to be over–"  
  
Suddenly, Ron's voice said, "Oh, then please don't let me get in your way." Turning to Viktor, he added, "Don't blame Hermione. _I_ kissed _her_. She's still a loyal girlfriend." With that, he stomped off into the common room with a quick whisper of, "Chocolate bats."  
  
"Ron," Hermione called, but he was already through the entrance. Turning unhappily back to Viktor, she said, "I...I just..."  
  
Viktor approached her calmly, and took her by the hands. "It is okay. You did not kiss him. He vant to kiss you, so he did, and you vere...surprised, and did not stop him. Yes? That is vhat happened?"  
  
"I-I guess," said Hermione, suddenly very tired and very confused. "I mean..."  
  
"Shhh," said Viktor, smiling at her. "It is okay." He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "You look...uh...sleepy. You should get some rest. Yes?"  
  
Hermione nodded. "Yes."  
  
With that, she went through the portrait hole and into the Girls' Dormitories. However, as she crossed the common room–which was being cleaned by Harry and Ginny–she couldn't help but look around for Ron. He wasn't there.   
  
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As he lay in bed, Ron thought about the fact that half an hour ago, his biggest problem was that he was afraid of losing the stupid Battle of Dimwits contest. Now, he was in danger losing his best friend, whom he'd also just realized he had very strong feelings for. And she had completely shot him down.  
  
Why had he kissed her? What had he been thinking? He knew she had a boyfriend. He knew she only thought of him as a friend. He knew all of those things, and yet he'd done it, he'd kissed Hermione.  
  
It was strange to even think about it. He'd never entertained any sort of a romantic notion about Hermione before. Except, he realized, he had. Hadn't he been completely, totally jealous of Viktor Krum when he went to the Yule Ball with her? The excuse of Hermione betraying Harry now seemed so flimsy to him; obviously he had been the one feeling betrayed. And in Year Two, wasn't he completely devastated when Hermione was petrified?   
  
He could even trace some of these feelings back to his first year. Had he really felt that way about her for so long?   
  
Why? Why? Why? He wanted to kick himself for making such a horrible mistake. It could never work out, could it? It would ruin their friendship. With each other and with Harry. It was simply terrible.  
  
What was he going to do? He had to convince Hermione that he was fine. That the kiss was...was a fluke. A crazy experiment. Anything. He couldn't lose her because of this.  
  
Eventually, Ron heard Harry and Neville come into the dormitory. Harry was asking Neville if he was alright, and Neville was whimpering in return. Ron could only assume that the audience had, after Viktor and Ron's fight, decided to continue bothering Neville about his Spew/S. P. E. W. decision.  
  
Ron had been angry, at first, at Neville. He still was, actually. But, at the moment, he had much bigger problems. Although he considered talking to Harry about it, he couldn't seem to work up the nerve. He instead formulated his own plan as to making Hermione understand about the kiss. All it required was for Harry, Neville, and the others to drift off to sleep.  
  
Eventually, around one or two a.m., by Ron's guess, he heard the snores of the people in his dormitory. Quietly, he got out of bed, slipped on his slippers, and walked over to the foot of Harry's bed, in front of which stood Harry's trunk. He kneeled down and flipped the latch on the trunk. Still trying to be silent, he dug around inside of it, finally finding what he was looking for. Triumphantly, he removed the silvery invisibility cloak.  
  
Slipping the cloak around him, Ron walked down the spiral stairs in the common room. He reached the foot of the stairs leading up to the Girls' Dormitories. Tentatively, he took a step. Another. Another. Suddenly–_whoosh_! The stairs had turned into a ramp, which he slid down, hitting the ground with a _thud_.  
  
"Bloody hell," he muttered, discouraged. He had been afraid something like that would happen. Luckily, he had a backup plan.  
  
He climbed back up the stairs inaudibly, and leaned out the window, whistling under his breath. "Pig!" he called, trying to keep his voice down. Seamus stirred, but did not wake. "Pig!" Suddenly, Ron noticed a little ball of fluff flying towards him from the direction owlery. Pig landed on Ron's arm. Before the tiny owl had a chance to make a sound, Ron rushed back down the stairs, dropping the invisibility cloak back in Harry's trunk. For this plan, he did not need it.  
  
"Well," Ron whispered to the owl. "You're not as stupid as I thought." Grabbing a spare bit of parchment, most likely left over from the contest, and a quill left on the ground, Ron scrawled a quick note: "Hermione. Come to the common room. We have to talk. Ron." After tying the note to the bird's foot, Ron took Pig over near the staircase leading to the Girls' Dormitories. "Pig, take this to Hermione. Her-my-o-nee. Okay." It gave a small hoot and flew up the stairs.  
  
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"Hermione, are you still awake?" whispered Ginny nervously.  
  
Hermione rolled over to face the younger girl and said, "Yes. Why?" Even though she had been utterly exhausted, Hermione couldn't fall asleep. She was too caught up in her own thoughts.  
  
"I have to tell you something."  
  
Hermione yawned and said, "Ginny. It's two o'clock in the morning. My brain is functioning particularly well. So, hopefully you're not depending on my advice."Ginny looked disappointed. "Well, if its important, I can make my mind work."  
  
"Oh, good." Ginny took a deep breath. "I still like Harry."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I still like Harry. I don't want to. I thought I was over my childish crush on him, but working with him on this contest has–"  
  
"Reignited buried feelings?"  
  
Ginny nodded miserably.  
  
"You can't help it if you like someone. No matter how much you try to fight it. Or how wrong or strange it might be. Or if you already have an adoring boyfriend."  
  
"Are we still talking about me and Harry?"  
  
Hermione smiled at her brightly. "Of course. Who else?"  
  
Ginny shrugged, but there was a knowing look in her eyes.  
  
"Feel better?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Yeah," responded Ginny, even though she really didn't. "I mean, I still have some th–" At that moment what looked like a ball of feathers flew into the room and landed–or, rather, collapsed–in Hermione's lap.  
  
"Ah!" she exclaimed, surprised. "Oh. Pig. What _are_ you doing?" Hermione spotted the note and quickly removed it. Reading over it quickly, she blushed, and then said, not looking Ginny in the eye, "I have to go downstairs."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have to go to the common room. To, uh, meet Ron." Ginny said nothing as Hermione stood and pulled a robe on. However, if Hermione had gathered up the nerve to look at the red-haired girl, she would have noticed a particularly large and knowing grin on her face.  
  
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After a few minutes, Ron heard a noise on the stairs, and Hermione emerged. Her hair was pulled back in a pony-tail and she wore a fuzzy pink robe. He noticed, with concern, that she also looked exhausted.  
  
"Hi," she said meekly when she spotted him.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"I believe this is yours," she said, handing him Pig, whom she had been forced to hold on to in order to keep him from disturbing the other--sleeping--girls.  
  
He muttered, "Stupid owl."  
  
"So..."  
  
Ron began, "Hermione, about...what happened. In the corridor. When I...you know." He couldn't even say it. "Well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about it. I know you're with Krum. But, you should know, I didn't do it because I fancy you, or anything."  
  
"Well," said Hermione, unable to help herself, "then why did you do it?"  
  
Ron didn't have an answer for that. All he could do was shrug.  
  
"Oh. Okay. Well, if you don't...have feelings for me, like that, then we can just pretend the whole thing never happened," suggested Hermione.  
  
"Yes. Exactly," said Ron.  
  
Hermione sighed. "Except..."  
  
"Except...what?"  
  
"Except, Ron, I don't want to. I don't want to forget that we...kissed." Ron looked surprised. "I liked kissing you. I mean, I like you. A lot." Hermione leaned in.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
  
Pulling back, Hermione said, "Ron, for once, just shut up."   
  
She kissed him.   
  
He shut up.  
  
Once again, their kiss was interrupted, this time by a young voice, saying, "Hermione...Ron..." Hermione and Ron jumped apart, and saw Ginny, looking very embarrassed. Ron's ears tinged pink. "Sorry. I just was going to tell you..."  
  
Ginny had come down out of curiosity as to what Hermione and Ron were doing. When she saw the two kissing, she had planned on going straight back upstairs. But then she had caught sight of a dark figure across the common room, watching from the corner. From what she could tell, he was tall, with a once-broken nose, and was slightly duck-footed. The description only fit one person she knew.  
  
"Viktor is right there." She gestured over to the corner.  
  
Hermione turned, wondering how this could have happened twice in one night. Indeed, it was Viktor, and he now walked over to her. He didn't look angry; he looked calmly cheerless.  
  
"Viktor," she said, hoping to explain.   
  
"No. I thought you vanted to be vith me."  
  
She said, "I...don't know..."  
  
"You do not know?" Viktor said, as Ron demanded, "Don't know?"  
  
Ginny said, bright red at this point, "Maybe I should just go." No one answered her, so she walked back to the stairs. Unable to quench her curiosity, she remained on the stairs, watching.  
  
"I'm sorry," Hermione tried.  
  
Viktor said, "I vant to know–him or me."  
  
"Yes," said Ron. "We're sick of this. Choose now. Do you want to be with him, or do you want to be with me?"

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A/N: Okay, this chapter is less of a comedy. Next chapter is the last chapter (as far as I know)...Hermione makes her decision. Please review.


	8. Prizes

Chapter Eight: Prizes  
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Hermione looked from Ron to Viktor and back to Ron. She had an impossible decision to make. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, before she finally said, "I can't."  
  
"You can't?" repeated Ron. "Can't what?"  
  
"Can't choose!" she shouted. "I'm not this girl."  
  
"What are you on about?" Ron said. Viktor nodded.  
  
Hermione seemed to be searching for words. Finally she said, "I do schoolwork. I get into trouble, occasionally, mostly thanks to Harry. I am polite to people who deserve it, and I am, we'll say, not-so-polite to those who don't deserve decency. But I do not, above all things, have boys fighting over me. And, if they are, I don't let it affect the other aspects of my life. And yet here I am, at two thirty in the morning, letting this affect the other aspects of my life!"  
  
"Herm-own-ninny–"  
  
"No. Let me finish." She paused. "No, wait. I am finished." Looking at them, she added, "See what this entire thing is doing to me? I can't even think straight!"  
  
Ron said, "You can't blame us. You were the one cavorting about, kissing random people." Hermione narrowed her eyes. "I don't think that was the right thing to say."  
  
"I am not choosing between you," she said. "Not now, at least. I am going to bed."  
  
"So, ve just have to...vait?" wondered Viktor.  
  
Hermione said, as she headed towards the stairs leading to the Girls' Dormitories, "I'm not letting this affect other aspects of my life. I suggest you two do the same."

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Despite his attempts to follow Hermione's advice, Ron was still constantly thinking about what decision Hermione planned on making. And everything between them was off. They still had breakfast, lunch, dinner, and classes together, but everything was tense. Harry chattered incessantly the whole time, helping to make the silences less awkward. After classes, Hermione studied alone or with Ginny, rarely speaking to Ron or Viktor. His preoccupation with Hermione's choice, combined with the lack of help from her on homework, was causing him to do quite poorly in class.  
  
Harry, aware of what was going on, tried unsuccessfully to reunite Hermione and Ron, but all that resulted was a very embarrassing and polite conversation.   
  
Every day, Ron wondered if this was the one that Hermione would choose. After a week, he almost didn't care _who_ she chose, just that did choose. Almost. After a fortnight, he was sure he was going crazy with anticipation.  
  
Finally, after two weeks and three days, Ron received a note which read, "Meet me in the kitchen at four. Hermione."  
  
Suddenly, he didn't want to know who she had decided on. What if it wasn't him? Their relationship was already severely damaged; could it really take any more?   
  
Nevertheless, at four o'clock that Sunday, Ron showed up at the painting which was also the entrance to the kitchen. He tickled the pear, which giggled, and then the painting swung aside. After climbing through the hole, Ron looked around.  
  
He was the last to arrive, it appeared. Hermione was talking to Harry and Ginny, while Viktor Krum was staring with his eyebrows raised at the a house elf. Upon his entrance, Ginny waved, and called, "Ron. Finally."  
  
"What're you two doing here?" he replied, talking about Ginny and Harry.  
  
"We were in the mood for treacle tarts," answered Harry. "We came down here, and who should we see but Hermione. She's been trying to convince us to leave ever since, but we want to see what happens."  
  
"It affects us, too," defended Ginny quickly.  
  
"Fine, fine," said Hermione. "You can stay. But leave us alone while I deal with this first." They nodded, and went over to a corner of the kitchen and talked to Dobby. "Cake?" she said, and three plates were instantly set on a counter, around which three stools were set. "Sit down, you two."  
  
As he sat down, Viktor said, "Are you going to tell us vhich you choose?"  
  
Hermione nodded, adding, "I'm so sorry it took so long. It was a very difficult decision." She held her hands out, palms facing towards herself. "Look at my fingernails. I ravaged them."  
  
"It took a little less than two and a half weeks," Ron reminded her. "How could it have possibly taken so long? You either like me or you don't."  
  
She sighed, then smiled grimly. "Actually, it only took me a few days to decide."   
  
"What?" Ron and Viktor cried at the same time. (Actually, Viktor cried, "Vhat?")  
  
"It only took me two or three days to decide who I wanted to be with," she repeated. "But deciding was very hard. I mean, the answer was obvious, but I hated the idea of me being the kind of girl who has to choose. The kind of girl who has feelings for two different boys." She took a deep breath. "But I did choose. The rest of the time was spent trying to figure how to tell you. Like I said, I hated being the girl who had to do that to someone. But I can't leave you both unsure." Another deep breath. "Anyway, I didn't know how to tell you. Finally, I decided that while eating chocolate cake was the best way." She gestured toward the cake, which Ron had already dug into, but Viktor was staring suspiciously at. "Go on, Viktor. It's double chocolate fudge surprise, or something of the sort."  
  
"Chocolate chip double fudge," announced a squeaky-voiced house elf.  
  
Hermione smiled down at the elf. "Thank you," she said graciously.  
  
"'Ermione, cah we geh bah to us?" Ron asked with a mouthful of cake.  
  
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Ron. It's rude. And yes, we can. Look, I'm not planning on dragging this out. I will tell you right now, that the person I want to be with is–"  
  
"Oi! There are already people in here, George," announced the voice of Fred Weasley. Everyone turned to see George and Fred at the entrance/exit of the kitchen.   
  
George responded, "Oh, there are. Hello, Ron! What are you having there?"  
  
"Chocolate chip double fudge cake," Hermione responded. "If I'm correct."  
  
"Oh. Is it any good?" Fred wanted to know.  
  
Hermione took a bite. "If you like chocolate, then you'll definitely enjoy this."  
  
"Great," said Fred. "Can I have some of that cake?" he asked a house elf, who hurried off and brought the twins pieces of cake.  
  
"So," George asked, "what are you talking about?"  
  
"Bloody hell!" shouted Ron. "Hermione, you choose who?"  
  
"Oh," the twins said at once.

"Hermione's choosing her boyfriend," added Fred.

"The whole thing is all over school," said George.  
  
"Yes!" shouted Ron. "Now go away."  
  
"Come now, Ron," scolded George. "Hermione won't choose you with that attitude." Ron glared at his brothers. "Fine, fine, we're going. Oh, hello, Harry, Ginny!" Ron kicked him. "I mean, goodbye Harry, Ginny."  
  
Harry and Ginny called, "Bye!"  
  
"Great," said Ron, after his brothers had left, stocked with several pieces of cake. "You were saying...?"  
  
"Ron, you really shouldn't be so rude to your brothers," Hermione said. "I mean, they were being friendly."  
  
"They wanted to know if the cake was good."  
  
"Ron..."  
  
Viktor said, "Can ve please find out who vins?"  
  
Hermione pursed her lips. "I am a human being. I am not to be won....And yes. I care about you both so much, but the person I really want to be with is–"  
  
"I is sorry to interrupt," squeaked Dobby, suddenly at Hermione's side. "But Harry Potter's Weezy...girl Weezy says to give you this." He handed her a piece of paper and left.  
  
Hermione unfolded it, and it read, "I'm asking Harry out!"  
  
Ginny looked at Hermione, and Hermione smiled widely and gave her the thumbs up. Ginny smiled happily and turned back to Harry.  
  
"Hermione. Who?" Ron prompted.  
  
"Oh, yes. Sorry. Ginny was just...well, it doesn't matter. What was I saying?"  
  
Viktor said, "You vant to be vith...?"  
  
Hermione said, "Right. I care deeply about–"  
  
"You already said that part," Ron told her.  
  
"Okay," she laughed. "I want to be with, above all other people is...well, Johnny Depp, but–"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"A muggle actor. Sorry. I want to be with–"  
  
"I is sorry to interrupt again." Dobby was back. He slid Hermione a note. Hermione unfolded it to read the words, "I couldn't do it."

"Thank you, Dobby," Hermione said, shrugging at Ginny.  
  
"Bloody hell! Hermione, did you choose me or Krum?'  
  
Hermione sighed, and replied hastily, "I choose you, Ron. I choose you." Viktor looked upset. Ron looked shocked, in a pleasant sort of way. "Viktor, we had our relationship," she consoled. "And it was very special. But you and I are over. I felt it end. We aren't meant to be, and you know it." Viktor shrugged, and began walking away. "Viktor, at least take your cake." He looked back, considered it, and grabbed the plate with the cake on it. _Then_ he left.  
  
"You choose me?" Ron said finally.  
  
Hermione smiled at him. "Yes. I choose you. Because even though you can be rude, and immature, and ridiculously proud, and even though you can drive me completely insane–Ron, I love you."  
  
"You _love_ me?" Ron repeated. Hermione nodded, blushing. "Well, Hermione, I...I love you, too."  
  
Harry and Ginny rushed over to them at that moment, Ginny still looking a little depressed. "So, you chose Ron?" Harry said.   
  
Hermione replied, "Who else?"  
  
"I knew it," said Ginny. "You two were completely meant for one another." Hermione gave Ginny a meaningful look. Sighing, Ginny turned to Harry. "Harry?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I was wondering if you wanted to...maybe, on the next Hogsmeade visit, do something? Maybe have lunch? With me."  
  
Harry choked. "You mean, a date?" Ginny nodded uncertainly. "Well...well, I would...love to have lunch with you." Ginny looked delighted as she and Harry exited the kitchen.  
  
Hermione went to follow them, but Ron grabbed Hermione's arm first. She turned to him with a questioning look. "Not so fast," he said, and he leaned in, kissing her. She didn't object.  
  
"I...I is sorry to interrupt," Dobby's voice said. Ron and Hermione parted. "But is you wanting more cake."  
  
Instead of getting angry, as Hermione almost expected Ron to do, he said to her, "Do you think we'll ever finish a kiss?"  
  
She smiled coyly at him and replied, "I guess we'll just have to find out. You_ dimwit_."  
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A/N: Okay...done! I almost hate to finish this. Please please please please review. Also, I am contemplating the idea of a sequel, this one maybe more Ginny/Harry centered–although definitely still Ron/Hermione. Tell me what you think.   
  
Oh, and someone (Auddie) asked about if I just made up the questions as I wrote, and the answer is yes. Sometimes I'd brainstorm question ideas before writing the chapter, and I had to figure out who would get them right and how many points they received, ahead of time, in order for the ending to turn out right. But yeah...I made them up as I went. Which ones specifically did you like? Just curious. 


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